There are things that seem harmless to friends or family of new parents that actually are very triggering. As the primary caretakers of our children, we’ve often got our hands quite full as it is and what we don’t want is to add to that. The reason these are pet peeves of parents with babies and toddlers is because these actions add to that. So if you’ve caught yourself doing any of these things, take note!

1. When you tell us what we should be doing with our children.

Unsolicited advice is never welcome. If it wasn’t asked for, don’t give it – that should be the general rule. “The baby should be on a routine by now”, “she should be sleeping through the night”, “he shouldn’t be breastfed anymore”, “he shouldn’t go to bed so early.”

What’s worse is when people tell us what we should or should not be doing with our children, in front of them. Especially when they’re toddlers and can begin to understand. This makes our job raising them just all that more difficult because it’s understood that there is wiggle room or flaws to our rules or methods. Unless we’re doing something truly incorrectly, keep your opinions regarding the parenting of our kids to yourself. Thank you.

2. We hate it when you share food with our children

This one just comes down to basic hygiene. But in this day, in the midst of COVID-19, if you haven’t gotten the picture yet, good hygiene is important not only for building good habits, but for preventing transmission of illnesses. So please don’t take a bite from my child’s fork, or a bite from your own and then try to shove it in my child’s mouth. Especially if you’ve got the “sniffles.” Don’t stick your fingers in my child’s mouth when you’re trying to feed her. And don’t sip from her cup or let her take a sip from yours. We bought baby utensils for a reason. Please use them.

3. When you teach our children bad behaviour – even out of fun, we don’t think it’s funny

Some people think it’s cute when children yell, stick out their tongue and flip the bird at strangers. Hold on, actually nobody does. So don’t teach a child to do these things, even out of jest. Children don’t yet know social norms and they don’t understand which behaviors are acceptable and which are not. They just go from copying your actions, and getting your feedback cues. So if you laugh when they copy you flipping the bird, they will think that that’s a good thing to do. Because kids like to make others laugh. But really you’re just giving us as parents, something to teach them to stop doing, which is always more difficult. Please model good behavior around our kids. That’s what we’d actually appreciate.

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