Morning pages

I’ve started to really notice the effect that food has on my mood. Initially the plan was to start eating better to improve my skin, but I’ve noticed that eating junk or just too many white carbs or meat has been affecting the way I feel when I wake up the day after. My body as a whole seems to be able to tolerate it much less as I wake up feeling like I’m just in such a mood.

Then I’d head straight for coffee, and if I’m lucky I’d have killer energy and motivation for a few hours before the lazy-ass, somewhat bummed-out mood comes back. I wouldn’t say it’s depression or like a dark cloud. But it’s definitely not positive.

When I eat healthily (like chia seed pudding morning, protein and greens mid afternoon, couscous lunch, non starchy dinner – ok I know it’s a lot. I’m pregnant, guys), the energy I get is different. It’s like a mellow, calm but sustained energy. I’m able to focus, but not in an obsessive way – which is amazing when it comes to learning new things or practising listening skills. It’s so strange… but I’m yet to decide whether or not that’s a useful state to be in frequently. Probably because as much as I need to calm at times, I feel a bit more alive and productive when I’m a bit obsessed, a bit on edge. But that could just be a feeling and not the reality.

Meditation with Headspace

I’m not too sure that meditation using the Headspace app works for me. There are days where I feel totally fine, but I think “ok, as all the people I admire talk about how great Headspace is, I’ll give it another try”. And then it fucks up the rest of my day. I end up feeling down even though prior I was in a perfectly fine headspace. That’s something I’m still trying to figure out…

Anyway, the sun has just decided to come out after a rainy morning and so I’m happy for now! I’m trying to practise a bit more mindfulness throughout my days so that I can pull myself out of these moods and be happy or at least productive for the times when coffee just isn’t enough.

A good podcast I listened to today on mindfulness was one by an Australian girl called The Mindful Kind. I saw episode 7’s title and decided to have a listen and it was good, full of some simple but useful and relevant ideas. Just what I needed today. To just be more aware and mindful.

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